And Now A Taste Of Things To Come...

No, this post has nothing to do with Mortal Kombat, for those of you who recognize the quote, it means rather, Sweden time. I leave shortly to get material from a foreign land, domesticate and tame it, then bring it back here. It will be scary and raw, just the way you crazy ass people like it. It is the constant dedication of my fans that keeps me writing on this virtual shit block. I return later this month, so if you see any suspecious posts here don't read it, theres a chance that it contains AIDS or a virtual STD and you will go to hell. Ite then, ill be black, yall stay white here.

Pause

Good thing I will never meet the people on the web that read this blog, otherwise I would probablly be lynched and burned alive while having poison poured down my throat. So yea, if you ever meet me in the real world, be nice, I talk about some fucked up shit here. It's a reflection of a part of my mind, not writing about the real me. I will never write about the real me, I think people rarley do anyways, even if they think they really are. Blogs are just places to release your deamons and vent about the images burned into our retinas every day. I say burned because we don't, most of the time, have control of what we view in our world. I know that there are people out there that have my last sentence in their job description. Enough of the conspiricy crap for now, I will save that for an episode when my blood and alchol levels are almost equal.

Actually, I have decided now that I don't have any fucked up stories to tell. Sorry, that kind of sucks I wasted your life, but thats why i write here. Muhaha....

God damnit...WTF mate?

So apparently it takes alot longer for my trip to Sweden to come than I realized. It's about damn time that this shit hurry up and be here, for fuck sake there is only seven days standing between me and my untimely death. Actually, my certain death, which of course many will be celebrating and my rule over this dark corner of the internet will fail.

Well, on a better note, me and the Rat Pack got wasted at work today off Carlo Rassi wine. Yea, the gallon one that costs bout 9 bones. Essentially, you can't get a better deal any where else. It also lead on to myself being inspired to start my own winery. Here in colorado it isn't as easy to grow grapes of whatever the hell else people ferment with. We do have however, pine trees and land fills. Tell me you can't make a wicked brew out of ten minutes and the Denver landfill, serious, this will be hit. This is a tribute to all you great wine makers out there, and I just want to give back to history and the people with a delicious wine made from hours of hard work. If you are interested in this project please donate to my PayPal account, you will find the information in a early post of mine. In addition to your generous donation, every wine bottle sold in the U.S., will contribute to my pyramid construction project. Each purchase carries enough finances to add one block of solid egyptian stone to the massive pyramid being built right here in the prarie of Denver. My goal is to have this completed within 10 years and stand upon it like a mighty ruler and look down at the infintesimal beings inhabiting the earth below. This of course depends upon the amount of 'laborors' able to cut the stone, drag it across miles of prarie, up steep emabankments, line it up with the damn stars and place it atop my mighty creation.
Doing the math, I expect 1/3 of my work force to perish in the next ten years due to exhaustion and the fucking hazardous environment that naturally exists when constructing a pyramid. Other than that, everything seems to be in perfect order. I also spoke to Fox about making this a reality show, they wanted to call it "egyptian pride" or something like that, I proposed "who the fuck is dumb enough to think of this shit" at this point I was chased out... and this is why you shouldn't waste time here on this damn blog, its retarded. Go now, I have to report it to google so they can take it down...

The hell...?

As I was finishing up work today I stumbled across the latest issue of Popular Mechanics. Usually the stuff I find in there is great to read and fills my life with such emotion. However on this particular occasion, there was an article about rat brains flying an F-A22, I think it was or our latest and greatest war jet.
WTF mate? I guess that is what it has come down to these days, rat brains controlling our national security in the near future. The way it works apparently, scientists or who ever the fuck came up with this idea, took 25,000 rat neurons and linked them with some sort of positronic-adapter. This adapter then fires the signals to a land based dish that then communicates with the air-borne fighter jet.
Maybe i'm just not getting this or what, what the hell? I tell ya, we as a country fund some of the craziest shit immaginable. No wonder people hate our country, we do weird ass crap. Just think though, if we took some Chris Rock brain cells and did the same god damn thing. We could even mix and match, little Adam Sandler with some Harry Carry, you'd have a jewish-crazy old man controlled jet. It probablly just fly in circles, but I say we give it a chance in Iraq, the rebels will not know what to expect. Osama would shit his pants twice over.
Anyways, thats all for now. By the way, this passage had sublimenal messages that told you to donate money to my P.U.D. fund. People for Underage Drinking, which volunteers 75% of its time to the community, helping rubuild the damaged infastructures of our cities and 66% of the rest of its time getting flat out wasted. 85% of that 66% is spent in radical drinking games that strengthen the minds of our youth for the toughness of the real world, while the other 15% is spent in deep meditaiton while under the influence of the worlds nastyest whiskey. You guessed it...Kentucky Gentleman. God damn, I just can't let it go.