On a covert operation deep within enemy territory I was attacked by a man a told me to take him to Poland. He held his light saber at my throat the entire time. To make make matters worse, we were persued by a machine-gun wielding jesus out for revenge. I pleaded for a respite, but my captor would have none of this and pointed in the direction to escape the enraged jesus.

I'm so glad that was a complete diaster. Drake you're fired.

Update on Celebrity Interviews

Just so everyone knows we have finally scheduled Drake to go out and interview one of this nations famed celebrities. It will remain a suprise however, until the final product is posted. This is only to protect our wonderful celebrities from harm and the threat of ever growing celebrity-killing diseases.

Tough times

Here is a rare photo with myself during my mounatin man years with the Pharoah/Viking lord RaLleten III .That blue thing in his arm is a blue cocaine needle. Blue coacine was a big hit back then as it made you crazy high and love things that were blue. Like the sky and blueberries, which we called sky berries after coming down from a 2year cocaine binge that involved everything from coleslaw to Carmen Electra.

I was engaged in recent talks with the Ninja lord Koknsllab about having someone with execptional ninja assination skills to do the janitorial work for our building. His affinity with drinking large quantities of wine and pointing ninja knives at his face really put me in an uncomortable position.

New Material, New Member.....What Else...?

So by demand of the readers of this blog, and in agreement with Dr. Sysknil, I have decided to establish the first of many interviews R.A.T.M. will have with celebrities. After further discussion with the good doctor, we both decided that we can't really be the guy who asks questions. The doc is afraid of celebrities and will wet his pants, forget his questions and go hang himself with fishing line out a 1 1/2 story building. As for me, I would make to much fun of the celebrities and piss them off, resulting in a hit squad being paid in gold bars and fur coats to hunt me down and seize control of this badass Blog. What options are we left with? Bring on a new team mate....Drake Salamander. We go way back, well...actually I found his ass on the streets. He was wrapped up in cardboard and burlap bags indside a Whirlpool washing machine box. Beacuse he lives right by the business, I told him that I will throw down Spam or something half eaten from the window of the massive building where this Blog is based out of if he joins us. I thought to myself, "How could any affluent and opulent celeb turn down the likes of a bum with so much adulation for life and cheeseburgers?" Anyways, he will be doing all the interviews and maybe a little more if he proves worthy and doesn't suffocate in his own cloud of bong smoke.

We are waiting to hear back from all the celebrities that we sent out the interview request thingys to, but when we do hear from one we will be sure to post as soon as possible.

Also, we have been getting alot of emails and uh.....hate mail..and...more hate mail. So we decided that we will soon be putting these on this blog for all of the majestic world to view. Stay tuned.

What a brilliant son of a bitch. I really have nothing much to say here.

Bloody Fantastic

Well, welcome good doctor, I hope you bring something delicious to the table each day for us to prosper from and enjoy. We have an abundant pluthra of readers with minds thirsty for knowledge, don't let them down or you will have some very wicked comments to sift through. Welcome to the team.

Alright, since I actually have co-writers that I can converse with I can ask questions and shit. So...anyone hear about this man who want's to take his golf cart across the country on a voyage for glory and propane consumption? The gentlemen, James Bombardier of Fairfield...wherever, apparently has made many long excursions to see friends and family. Most of us use inclosed and protected vehicles when making trips due to the environment and weather. We say this is a smart idea and just good to do so that people at you reunion don't make you sit at the table in the corner. He says,
"Riding in a golf cart can be scary, espcially when a tornado hits. If it rains, you get wet."
If you get punched in the face it hurts James. If you travel on a golf cart cross-country your ass winds up on this site. I dunno Doc, what you think?