Facts About Chuck Norris, Part 2

-Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

-Chuck Norris defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you’re still alive, it’s because Chuck Norris loves you.

-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

-Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.

-There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.

-There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

-In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever gotten.

-Chuck Norris invented cancer because he was tired of killing people

-In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

-Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

-Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

-When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

-Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

-When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris instead.

-Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

-Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

-When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.



*Courtesy of mike.wordpress.com, who may not be the original author. The above can be originally viewed here.