Nominated or Not...?

Today President Bush predicted that Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers will be confirmed for a seat on the bench. When asked by reporters how the President managed to see into the future to provide such a guaranteed answer his only response was,

"We have ways to get things done and figured out. We will get the terrorists" stated President Bush as he palmed a Magic 8 ball.

Apparently Miers' nomination has not been well received in consertive circles. Many pointed foam fingers at Bush for choosing a so called 'lame' candidate and called for a break in session to argue it over. Reporters from RATM asked famed actor Burt Reynolds' opinion on the matter.

"Who? Miers? Yeah, I remember her. She and I had a 'thing' if you catch my drift" stated Reynolds grasping a beer and stumbling briefly before falling to the ground. Fortunately we were able to get the following comments from Reynolds before he lost control:

"You don't know me...I already told ya mires is good for tha job. You guys are grrrr...eat, you know what she told me once...? She said that if con is the opposite of pro, does that mean that Congress is the opposite of Progress? You know, you know...think about it" cried Burt from a face down position in his own vomit.

RATM reporters immediately attacked Reynolds for beginning to think on his own and for making such a profound statement. After splintering several bar stools and wood planks over his head, Burt was eventually subdued.

Luckily we got a chance to talk to mires ourselves and she offered this as a response to our question of if she was going to get job or not:

"It's so hard to know anymore. For every supporter I get, there's a player-hater that jumps in on the situation. The President has been very supportive in my nomination and has on many occasions brought me cookies to calm my stressful days. I would say that there is really nothing keeping me from making it all the way" professed Miers with a mouth full of what appeared to be delicious cookies.

"An internal battle over nominations may hurt the GOP in next years congressional elections" explained Manuel Miranda from his hot tub located deep under the White House.

Fair claims have been made by all parties. The only thing we can do is to wait and see how this all turns out.